a bad relationship. nothing wrong with a perfectly consensual one-night-stand.
2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive.
3. Can men and women be just friends?
yes! i am sick of people who think that they can't.
4. What are your thoughts on dating co-workers?
if it doesn't affect your work, then why not.
5. On your way to the electric chair , what's your last meal?
well for last meals you can eat whatever you want... sooo... i think i'd have a spicy big crunch, with a jungle jim's bathroom sink... & a milkshake... chocolate of course... & possibly a slice of louis gee's pizza... after i drank an entire flask of jack daniels... : )
6. Is flirting cheating?
no. but it's not acceptable, unless it's a joke.
7. Are you okay with your significant other talking to others of the opposite sex?
of course! most of my closest friends are guys, so i'd be a hippocrit if i cared
8. What mαkes you most happy about the person you're with now?
everything! the way he treats me, the way he makes me feel... the cute way he calls or texts just to say "i love you"... his smile... everything.
9. Does he/she ever do anything sweet for you?
all the time : )
10. Ever kissed a random person then walked away?
nope.
11. Is it ever okay to ask out your ex's best friend?
it depends on the situation. i believe that if it's out of malicious intent, then it's not okay... but you can't help who you fall for sometimes.
12. If you could play any sport professionally , what would it be?
volleyball maybe... i dunno.
13. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
no.
14. Are you a jealous person?
i can be. big time.
15. Are you a beach , country , or a city person?
city, for sure.
16. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
definitely.
17. Do you like being single or are you ready to settle down?
i think i'm ready to settle down.
18. Have you ever sat up and waited for a phone call?
i use to, but now i have a terrible lack of paitients.
19. Who's most important in your life right now?
my family, friends, and a certain, special someone.
20. Have you been confused lately?
not recently.
21. Do you get nervous before a doctors appointment?
no, but i don't enjoy it.
22. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
milk.
23. Name three thoughts at this exact second:
1) i don't wanna study.
2) i wish i had some snacks.
3) i hate winter and exams.
24. Name three things you drink regularly:
1) milk
2) water
3) coffee
25. Current worry?
exams.
26. How do you bring on the new year?
party down with my friends.
27. What made you laugh last?
danzig. he was repeatedly licking out his tongue while he was asleep, kinda like he was trying to eat peanut butter. hehe
28. Name someone who has changed your life?
my psychology girls. they've taught me to trust my girl friends again.
29. Worst injury as a child?
dislocated knee-cap.
30. What is your favorite candy?
yummies (chocolate discs with sprinkles), green sour candy, candy canes, gummies... the list can go on and on.
31. What's the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
when i first woke up? "why does he have to go to woorrrkkk" and i think i whined a little.
32. If you could have bigger boobs for a day, would you go for it?
just a little bigger... you know... a comfortable amount of cleavage. haha
33. Do you ever get rude comments on your facebook?
nope.
34. Have you ever been seriously scared you were going to die?
no.
35. What kind of stuff do you dream about?
usually very random stuff. nothing in particular.
36. What do you think about hair extensions?
i want themmmmm... but i need like $200 for them : (
37. What color is the sky right now?
whitish-grey.
38. When does summer begin for you?
april.
39. Can you believe that some people eat horses?
i don't care. i don't think i'd eat one, but if you like it, go nuts.
40. Describe one of your scars.
6 in a row... hair straightener burn.
41. What is on the walls in your room?
pictures, posters, & my calendar.
42. Do you snore or grind your teeth in your sleep?
i use to snore. i don't know if i do anymore of not.
43. Who was the last person to make you cry?
myself. i let myself get too stressed out a few weeks ago.
44. What eye/hair color do you like on the opposite sex?
doesn't matter.
45. Where can you see yourself getting proposed to?
i have no clue. somewhere romantic i hope!
46. What was the first gift a person of the opposite sex ever gave you?
i don't even remember.
47. What's the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?
just be honest and direct.
48. What number do you dial most often?
shauns
49. What was your first job?
babysitter.
50. What do you get complimented on the most?
clothes, hair & smile.
51. Do you have any bad habits?
biting/licking my lips.
52. How do you release anger?
swear, go for a drive, throw stuff, listen to metal.
53. How many numbers are in your cell phone?
around 80. i cleaned up my contact list when i got my new phone.
54. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
mom.
55. Last thing you watched on tv?
before oprah? the news.
56. Would you chew gum if someone else has?
no thanks.
57. What are your thoughts on friends with benefits?
touchy situation if it gets out of hand, but there's nothing wrong with it.
58. Have you ever flirted with someone you weren't interested in?
yeah. once.
59. Describe how you feel right now.
hungry, bored, sick of studying.
60. Are you a heartbreaker or the broken heart?
broken heat usually.
61. Friend of the opposite sex that lives close to you?
rory. he lives across the hall... in our apartment. haha
63. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these out?
i don't give a fuck if they do or not.
64. Would you date anyone on your top friends?
don't have a top list.
65. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
once upon a time. now i could care less about him and his music.
66. Do you sing in the car?
all the time!
67. Are you a freak about cleanliness αnd organization?
yes. shaun makes fun of me and tells me i have ocd.
68. Commitment or casual dating?
commitment.
69. What is your favorite Walt Disney movie?
none really. i don't like disney movies much at all.
70. Do you think you'll be in a relationship 5 months from now?
i would very much hope so!
71. What's the total call time on your phone?
03:10:00
72. What is the last item you gave away?
a candy cane.
73. Have you ever told a boyfriend/girlfriend that you love them and meant it?
yes.
74. If your crush asked you out right now what would you do?
ask him why he's asking me again... he already has me.
75. When was the last time you laughed?
an hour ago.
76. What are you doing tomorrow?
history exam at 9, work at 4:45... study.
77. Whats in the back seat of your car right now?
a box of tissues, gloves and the scraper/brush for my car.
78. When was the last time you threw up?
i have no clue.
79. Last person's house you were in?
shaun and louie's.
80. Have you ever gone to camp?
sure have.
81. Describe your watch.
i have a green, leather-strap watch... & a silver tommy hilfiger watch.
82. Does your first memory involve your dad?
i have no clue what my first memory is.
83. Do you like having fires?
love it!
84. How do you introduce yourself to people?
other people usually introduce me.
85. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you?
shaun, louie, laura & trevor.
86. Last wedding you attended?
lakyn and brian's.
87. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
a while ago.
88. Who was the last person you drove with?
shaun
89. Do you have any crazy relatives?
crazy one's are the only one's i have : )
90. When people get depressed do they turn to you?
sometimes.
91. What was the weather like on your last birthday?
sunny and hot!
92. Who was the last person to leave a comment on your facebook?
byrne
93. Do you give in easily?
no.
94. Who was the last person to call you and why?
mom. called to ask me something.
95. You're in the hospital , who in your top friends comes to visit you?
don't have top friends, but i'm sure it would be shaun... or the girls.
96. If alcohol were banned , what would your reaction be?
i don't know if i'd care that much really.
97. Name three things about the opposite sex that automatically turns you off.
1) cockyness
2) whores
3) controlling
98. A killer is in the house , would you hide from him or try to kill him
hide AND kill. it's a win-win situation.
99. Do you talk about facebook in real life?
yes.
100. Last thing you said about a member of the opposite sex?
i dunno.
101. What's the most rediculous fear you have?
all of them. death, being alone, bugs & heights.
102. Do you worry about global warming?
no.
103. Which slang word do you call marijuana?
pot.
104. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?
no. and calling it my "sweetie's clothes" sounds really fucking stupid.
105. Do you tan?
yes.
106. What do you enjoy more , hockey or soccer?
i like watching hockey more, but i like playing soccer more.
107. Who was the last person to message you on instant messenger?
kiah
108. When you think about the rain what comes to mind?
i dunno. depends on my mood.
109. Would you cry if facebook stopped working?
i'd struggle... but i'd manage.
110. Have you ever been so drunk you didn't remember one thing?
close to it.
111. Have you had sex in the last week ?
yes.
112. What's your dream job?
tattoo artist.
114. Do you like hanging around a fireplace because its warm?
sure do!
115. What would you say if an ex told you they loved you?
tell them thanks... but i've moved on.
116. Would you rather live with your grandmother or with twelve other people?
12 others.
117. When you meet the right person do you fall fast?
not lately.
118. Who was on your mind the most when you were taking this survey?
not who, but what. and that what, is food.
119. Would you ever fight someone over the person you like?
yes!
120. What bad thing do you have to say about your ex's?
nothing.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
aggravated - Music:n/a
i told you i can't do this.
why can't you listen?
you say that you won't bug me, but you persist.
even if that chance was 100% there, how can i decide with you pressuring me to make a choice?
i need to be me.
i need to live.
i am too busy & a little to detached right now to give you what you need.
you hurt me.
i love you, but i don't think that i'm in love with you.
i wish you could just hear me out for once.
i can't deal with this.
you're pushing me away even farther.
i tell you i'm busy, & you persist.
i can't seem to have fun anymore without you bringing me down.
& then you tell me about msn, & how you can't get online without every "slut" in corner brook msging you.
you tell me you hung out with other girls.
why?
is this some attempt to make me jelous?
it's just plain annoying.
i wish you could understand me
you're pushing me away even farther...
- Location:dem room
- Mood:
blank
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
- Location:dem room
- Mood:
melancholy - Music:let this go - paramore
i don't even know if anyone even uses this fucking thing anymore but i need to vent.
i am so scared that if i give aaron any more chances, things still won't change...
but he tells me he'll change... he's bombarding me with msg & just saying so much stuff that's tearing me apart!
it's stressing me out so bad, cause i love him so much, but i'm just scared... i'm so fucking scared.
& now feelings for another are involved... strong, but not as strong as my feelings for aaron.
i don't know what to do.
regardless of what i do, someone is gonna hate me.
this shouldn't be so fucking difficult right?
wrong.
fuck.
i don't know what to do... i don't know how to feel.
i'm chain smoking.
i'm losing weight.
i'm losing sleep.
my motivation's shot.
i'm a zombie at work.
my self-esteem is haggard.
i'm breaking out in stress pimples.
i'm suffering for manic depression i'm sure.
i'm having anxiety attacks and breakdowns more than i care to mention.
i can't stop crying.
i just wanna dissapear.
i hate this. i have no clue what i'm doing or who the fuck i am anymore.
the more i think about it, the more i realized i'm miserable without aaron... but i'm happing hanging out with another...
is that other just filling a void?
are they a way of getting over aaron?
were they a way of getting over aaron that turned into something more?
i love aaron.
i want to be with him forever.
i just need to sort ME out.
i'm so fucked up.
i hate myself right now.
- Location:hell.
- Mood: depressed
life & my summer have been going not much short of perfect.
staying in corner brook was possibly the best move i ever made.
i love all my friends, there's never a day or so that goes by that i'm stuck in the house.
my job is awesome... i can see how people are addicted to tips ♥
yep. i figured nothing could go wrong for me... job, car, money, apartment...
well, things just did.
this week my roomates told me that they're moving out.
mike's gone already & kendra will be back & forth for her stuff.
i now need to find a cheap 1 bedroom before august, or a roomate to start paying rent in august/move in, who isn't gonna ditch out on me before april.
i don't wanna give up this apartment, but it looks like i might have to.
fucking kendra & mike.
i don't even wanna speak to them right about now... i just wanna punch them.
fuck fuck fuck.
if anyone has any suggestions, holla at me please. for fuck sakes.
i'm beginning to lose hope in all of humanity & existence.
i'm sick of the endless searches... & i'm sick of all the naggin.
"have you found a place/job yet?"
"i was looking here (enter most obvious site name here). did you look there?"
"you know, we/you need a place to live/job/money?"
no. i'm looking.
duh i looked there.
no fucking shit.
don't talk to me like i'm an idiot.
don't treat me like i'm an idiot.
when i find something i'll fucking tell you so get off my back.
don't get crabby when i haven't found anything... be appreciative that i'm putting all my effort into this shit.
& as for roomate #3 who doesn't even keep in touch about apartments... if we can't find a 3 bedroom, you're on your own hunny.
& i refused to feel any guilt.
fuck.
i feel so over-exerted & unappreciated.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: cranky
- Music:on the brightside, she could choke - fear before the march of flames
me, beth & nichole were talking about best friends... and beth was talking about samantha walsh. i realized how quick things can end... it made me think.
i texted aaron to tell him i love him... even though we don't say it... and i texted my best friend ryan to tell him the same (only in a friend way)... i wish i could see him again... and i wish that i never loose aaron. they're the two most important men in my life (besides my daddy)... i don't know what i would do without them.
i just wish my aaron was here in my arms tonight... i can tell this is gonna be a rough weekend seeings i'm going home tomorrow. god why do i miss him so much already...
- Mood: sad
i went to sideways today, the one place where i THOUGHT i could easily get a job... they had a new girl working.
it brought back all those feelings i've had when i didn't get my job back at the home in springdale that summer...
i felt sick... and worthless... like, if they wouldn't hire me, then no one will...
i got upset...
aaron didn't seem to understand...
does he expect me to WALK to the plaza to pass out resumes in the cold rain... i would get sick & look like hell... and you should always look presentable when passing out resumes... no one would hire you if you looked like hell.
he says he'll help... but i know it bothers him to drive my ass around all the time... and it bothers me too.
i'm so resentful of my parents for not having me a car yet... even though i know theres nothing i, or they, can do... i just resent it.
not to mention my money is quickly dwindling... to the point that i don't even wanna spend a cent unless i HAVE to, cause i'm afraid to have none...
this is not gonna be an easy summer.
i hate it already : (
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
scared - Music:sick little suicide - the matches
i am now panicking.
i NEED to find an apartment.
i NEED to find a job.
i can't come home... it just couldn't be healthy...
: /
- Location:springdale.
- Mood:
stressed
well it's the start of another summer, and i couldn't be anymore excited!
all my exams went really well, not to mention my marks were great going into them... i think i might actually be more than please when i get my marks back this time! : D
the job search & apartment hunt now has to be thrown into high gear...
i need to start passin out my resumes... not to mention search for an apartment, cause i still don't have one : /
i hate to say it, but i'm really getting sick of waiting on nikita...
i know, as much as i don't wanna live alone next year (espeically if aaron moves to st.johns), i'm gonna have to take my own place if i can find a 1 bedroom with utilities included.
i need somewhere to live this summer, she doesn't. i can't fuck myself over for her.
my boy is finally home as well : )
it's so good to have him back... i missed him so fucking much.
he's been so much more cuddly and lovey since he got back too... i think breaks actually do us good!
speaking of missing him, someone made a comment the other day that made me uncomfortable.
"person x" said they missed aaron, and that i must be going crazy. the thing is, this person hasn't seen aaron in a while anyway, cause their just not part of the "group" anymore.
it annoys me when people talk of people like they're their best friends, when really they don't even associate barely.
i dunno... just a pet peeve i suppose. haha.
ooooh my.
well i must be off. i need breakfast, and a showerr.
ttfn
- Location:bed
- Mood:
awake - Music:tight - mindless self indulgence
end of school for the summer : )
i couldn't be any more excited really! i finally get to spend my summer in a new town, in my own place, with my own car!!
me and nikita, unfortunately, still don't have an apartment, but i have a few in mind i have to check in on.
as for a car, my mom & dad said then once dad gets home (the 18th!!) he's gonna look and definately be getting me a car this time he's home!! ♥ i love my parents.
things with aaron have been great lately too.
he's been gone since the 6th though, which sucks, but he'll be home on monday.
he's been online a lot talking to me... he even msged me one night simply to tell me that he missed me and that he was bringing me back a suprise ♥ he's so sweet!!
he even got online as soon as he got in grand falls, like before he even got his coat off, just to tell me he was in : )
exams are also going well.
well... i've only had one, but i didn't find it bad... and i'm not really worried about my other ones, except that anthropology take home, but i can get help with that if i need it.
alsoooo, today, jennine called me to say she was comming out to corner brook to see me!!!!!
i was so fucking pumped! i seriously have not seen her since last year, except for like 5 mins at the bar in s'ville once.
it was so nice to see her again... i missed her so much.
i definately have to make a few trips to st. george's this summer.
i'm just so excited to get school over with, to find my own place, and to get a job on the go.
it's gonna be an increible summer...
definately one i'm never gonna forget : )
p.s. i think i've fallin' in love with the beautiful audrey kitching <3 what i wouldn't give to have that girl's fucking style!
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
happy - Music:glass ceiling - metric
at first aaron wasn't sure if he wanted to have our ritual sleepover til saturday, but seeings he's gonna be gone for the next two weekends he gave in : ]
we ended up going to the smith's new place and the guys jammed all night.
i met the infamous meat... and he's really not as bad as people say... you just gotta know how to bring him down to size when he starts actin' like a dick.
we decided to go see hey rosetta! and took a cab to aaron's first... good thing, cause we found out the show was sold out, which sucks!
however, there was a party at aaron's when we got there, so we ended up rockin out with the crew all night.
saturday night we ended up drinking a few beers and going to the backlot.
i was exhausted, but ended up waking up and having an awesome time!!
trailer camp was incredible... coatguard was not so much... but either way it was fun!
after we got home, me, aaron & rod sat around all night and talked, which was great...
i ended up falling asleep on the couch and waking up to rod sayin "you asleep?! regardless, i love ya tizz, you're a great girl"... then he told me about a job he thinks i should apply for... and then left.
me and aaron ended up sleeping til 2pm sunday, which was fucking SWEET! i have never slept that late from what i can remember.
it was such a good weekend.
no arguments or anything...
not to mention i had fun without even having to be drunk at all!!
(and i had the best sex of life... haha)
i'm gonna miss him big time the next week or so... but it'll at least give me time to get through my exams and the apartment/job search.
i wish myself good luck on this, cause so far it's NOT easy :/
oh yes... AND...
I GOT MY NEW TYPE O CD FRIDAY!!!!!!!! THE ORDER FINALLY CAME IN FROM AMAZON.COM!! WOOOOOOTT *lovee*
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
cheerful - Music:hail and fairwell to britian - type o negative
peacefuli just have no desire to write it what so ever... i just wanna go outside and play in the pouring rain ( well... as long as it's still warm out ).
st.paddy's day was alright. we ended up drinking next door (louie, lori & rods) and then headed to the backlot.
i was canned by the time i got there, which was awesome... and the bands hadn't even started yet.
i never really did pay much attention to the bands.
first i was too drunk to notice.
then the booze wore off.
enter anxiety.
i don't know exactly why i was so uptight, but i was. i just felt so insecure (which is odd for me lately). that slut showed up, and i kept watching for her to try to talk to my boyfriend... so that was causing me to be on edge and a little paranoid.
not to mention aaron kept getting up to walk around and get closer to the bands, which was no big deal, but it was like once he left, no one talked to me except laura (god love her).
i ended up outside in the freezing cold smoking my brains out with laura... yes... i was smoking.
i wasn't and still aren't proud of it, but it was the only thing that could calm my nerves.
i've now learned to loath the backlot on such a night as that one.
i guess it wouldn't be as bad if i would of had more of my friends around... people i could talk to...
i just don't know what came over me last night... but i hope it never happens again : /
on a brighter note: aaron ordered me the new type o off of amazon.com!!! : D
i can't fucking WAIT to get my hands of that cd!! *drool*
oh well... for now, the mp3s will have to do
*rocks out*
back to the paper... puke.
ttfn
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: chipper
- Music:an ode to locksmiths - type o negative
*EXPLODES*
SLUT SLUT SLUT *PUKE*
- Mood: aggravated
i woke up this morning freaking out about my anthropology presentation... giving me an icky feeling in my tummy : (
to make matters worse, it was freezing and snowing and blowing outside, and i was almost late for school.
stats lab was shit.
ethics seemed to take forever... and then came the long, boring lecture on the topic of ethic, paired up with freezing room temperatures and frustrating group work.
one we were finally freed i went to the dem room and decided to e-mail my mom and tell her about my tattoo... i was sick to my stomach, and have been all day. i even checked her e-mail just then and realized she hasn't even CHECKED it yet... which make me feel even more sick : /
my anthropology presentation went horribly... that wench teacher looked so interested when everyone else did theirs... but she looked like she was falling asleep during mine!
i wanted to die.
i still kinda want to... ugh.
how i am surviving this semester and getting the grades i am getting is beyond me.
i have no motivation or want to do anything tonight... but i have no other choice.
this summer will be a sweet relase for sure.
if mom doesn't annhilate me when she reads my e-mail *cries*
i hate stress
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: stressed
- Music:creep - radiohead
if i find out who this "R.J." is that called me at 4am this morning, i am gonna tear them a new face-hole.
kthxbye
so friday night i went down to aaron's and we decided to call the guys over and drink.
so me, aaron, doug, trevor, louie, rod and lori were sitting around havin' some beers when the guys (john, bessie & wiggum... aka. pasadena) called to see if they could come over.
now pasadena and the guys (trevor, rod & louie) do NOT get along... but they are aaron's friends too, so he couldn't really say no... so he just told them on the phone who was there...
they came anyways : /
the night was going fine, no fowl words were said, so we decided to go to rory's b'day party.
bessie, unfrotunately, was being a pestilence, picking at everyone... but i mean, he was beyond drunk, so i understood. he asked me to punch him about a million times however, so... i gave it to him... right in the jaw... it was actually pretty funny : P
regardless, rory and doug ended up kicking out pasadena the same time we were leaving to go home.
outside bessie was still being a douche and was picking at aaron, who told him to fuck off (as you would to a drunk buddy)... but he persisted.. so aaron shoved him a little.
i saw wiggum (the dumb fucking cunt) go at aaron, turned around, and when i turned back aaron was on the ground and he was on top of him, so i jumped on wiggum and punched him in the back of the head as hard as i could.
one the guys got me off him, and him off aaron, me and wiggum started screaming at each other... and then we all stayed on our own sides of the path.
bessie kept trying to talk to aaron, who didn't want to talk to him... so i told him to go away and leave it til they were sober... and they brookes fuck-ass boyfriend was like "tizz, why don't you mind your own business" and i'm lookin at him like i was gonna tear him a new face, but let it slide.
regardless... bessie and aaron are cool now... but wiggum is still a cunt cause now aaron has a sprained ankle.. and can barely even walk... to poor dear : (
but he does think it's awesome that i jumped on wiggum... it was the only thing that made him smile that night : ]
well... now i can truely say that i HAVE gotten in a fight with someone... haha.. and he was 4 times my size
AND even though i'm not that rowdy... i am quite pleased with myself : ]
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: pleased
- Music:violet - hole
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